May 16, 2012


After this post I may be chopped liver! I want to say that by no means am I coming at this subject with a holier than thou attitude. My mercy...I will ONLY be perfect when I get to Heaven to be with the Lord. I have said, done, thought and whispered things I shouldn't have. I have had to seek Christ for forgiveness and forgiveness from others. I've had to "Eat" my own words and "Lick" my own wounds. God has had to remind me on several occasions from where He brought me from and what He has saved me for! I come to you as a woman that has been saved by grace and only strives to become more Christ-like daily. So with my confessions on the table I come to you today with a sad heart. 

I am embarrassed at the dress attire of some of our young women and even older women in God's House. Needless to say for some...there is nothing to be imagined because (IT ALL) is pretty much out there for clear view. And I am not coming into this post ignorant to the fact that Satan will attack me however he can simply because I am speaking truth.  I have learned through the guidance of the Holy Spirit that it isn't what we say at times it is how we say it. I am going to tastefully with a sincere cry of my heart approach this subject with honesty and prayer.

You think about how this looks to others and more so to God when one walks into the House of the Lord....

Wearing a backless dress that is so backless that you can almost see where her hip starts! Matter of fact you might even see her hip!
I do not want to see your behind.....I can see my own in my mirror and it isn't a pretty site.

Wearing a dress or top that shows so much cleavage that a push up bra isn't needed cause its all pushed out!
When you can see more breasts at church on a Sunday morning than you do at KFC that is a pity! (This may sound funny but it is the truth)

Wearing a dress or skirt that is so short that the edge of the undergarments can almost be seen!
There is no question as to the color of undergarment!

Wearing a dress or skirt that is so tight till everyone knows if she is wearing a full size pantie or a thong!
And may I add it doesn't matter if you are thin or heavy...I don't want to see your bone structure!

I remember years ago sitting in church on a Sunday morning and my husband could NOT pay attention to the Pastor for looking at the woman sitting a few pews over from us. She was about 2 years younger than me and beautiful! The way she was dressed had his attention and the attention of all the other wives sitting nearby.
 I will never forget telling him, "The Bible says that if your eye causes you to sin to pluck it out and you ain't going to have to worry about doing it cause I AM! 

 I have raised three daughters in which are grown, adult women. Two of my daughters are raising daughters. I NO LONGER pay my children's bills (Praise the Lord) and CANNOT CONTROL what they do or how they do it by no means. BUT I can tell you this....I will get all into their business quick like if they come into the house of the Almighty God dressed so inappropriately! Now being I have just said these words who knows...they may appear on the front steps of the church half naked...however, I love them enough to tell them that our God is not pleased. We are to love the sinner but not the sin. We are to lead and guide our younger women in the way they should go and that includes DRESS! Does this mean we are to stand at the step of the church with a dress code book in hand and say, You can come in but you can't? NO we aren't. Our Pastor will say "you come as you are,  shoes or no shoes, jeans or coat and tie...just come as you are. I love that because he expresses to everyone that God is looking at our hearts. I am so glad I serve a God that doesn't look at my outward appearance. But...I serve a God that is to be REVERENCED and RESPECTED.

When my daughters lived at home I knew what they were wearing when they left my house. Now grant be it...they may have changed clothes when they left my presence for all I know but I can assure you I knew what they left in. And let me go ahead and say this again....I have NO control over what my grown daughter's wear now! But...I know how I raised them! And they too have daughter's coming along. 

And just for the record because this is one excuse I hear from many....My daughter is big chested and it is hard to find clothing for her!

I know all about that with raising three daughters. And yes, it is hard to find clothing that is a cute style and age appropriate. But that doesn't mean that IT ALL HAS TO HANG OUT!

It breaks my heart when I see a beautiful young woman walk into church and I hear the whispers nearby because of their clothing.

It saddens me when I see older women that should be role models for our younger women dress so inappropriately.

It makes me angry when I see Satan using these beautiful women to draw attention to them from other men...single, married, old, and young. These sweet young ladies may not even realize that they are causing these men to sin.

It hurts me when I wonder "are we as the older woman in the church"...doing our part to direct, guide and lead the younger women" not just by DRESS example but by doing our utmost to be more Christ-like ourselves.   

I always shudder when I know I am putting myself on the front lines for attack! It has never the 15 years of leading women in Bible Study I can assure you I have seen first hand at how Satan can use mere words on this paper for his benefit. Just let me say something great and wonderful about my children when they were young and the next day the wonderful part turned into "I could kill them". Let me brag on someone in my family and the next day embarrassment would strike and God found a way to humble me. Let me say those all familiar words, "I would never do that" and I did it! You get the picture here....right?  Well here is the thing...I can choose to be a pew sitter and a passive Christian or I can choose to be an engaged Christian and be on the front line. 

I am ashamed to say that not every time have I said what needed to be said out of love; it has been out of "just being angry". But I am sharing my heartfelt cry today out of love especially for those of you that are still raising your daughters. And... maybe this is a wake-up call for some of the older women to step up to the plate and be an example.

 Image credit

Here is the thing and it's scary....What we have done a little of our children will do a lot of!  We will reap what we sow. 

We are none perfect...No not one! But we should strive daily as Christians to be more and more Christ-like! 

And if you still think I am being a little judgemental ask yourself this question. DO YOU want your husband staring at another woman because of her clothing attire? How about your Son, Soninlaw, or Boyfriend?

Oh Father, I ask you to forgive me for failing you in so many ways and to help me Lord to reach out to others. I thank you Lord that even through the imperfect times of my life raising my children that You had a plan for my life and for their life. I ask You Father to reach out with conviction and place it where it needs to be. Help us older women to reach out with a Christ-like attitude, love and honesty to the younger women. To teach them not just about dress but how to be a Godly woman, wife and mother. Help us to show them the ways of integrity and humbleness. I thank You now for binding Satan away from me as I know Father that if You are for me then who can be against me! I praise You now Lord that the victory is Yours! In Your Name I pray...amen

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding,
  in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight".

Hugs and blessings, Cindy



  1. AMEN and AMEN. Yes, you have spoken words of truth. I have seen young girls come to church with barely even a top to their dress and wonder why their Momma let them out of the house that way....and then I look at the Momma and understand completely. The church we are attending now....I can honestly say that I've only seen one lady wearing something inappropriate....and it is just way too short. The young people are covered....and I attribute that to the youth leaders and their wives!!! Preach on, Ms. Cindy. Yes, Satan will probably attack you...but that's what happens when we take a stand for God. I've been told that I think I'm superior...and a precious friend explained that statement to me in such a Godly manner!!! Love and admire you so very much. God bless!!!

  2. Amen, Sister. And even sadder when it's the wives and daughters of our leaders. Thank you for being bold - I'm right with you.

  3. I too am not perfect and never will be on this side of heaven. And oh have I learned the hard way. But I must say that I admire your boldness on this subject but LOVE that YOU LOVE these women enough to have a desire to help them and lead them, regardless of their dress code. We so need more women to step up to the plate and lead by example. It begins at home! Thanks Miss Cindy for this post. May God bless you. Selena Guest

  4. It is funny that this is on your blog today. We were just discussing
    this very subject yesterday. Have a good day. I love you.
    (Kristy Bearden)

  5. Thank you my sweet sister for loving enough to speak the truth. It is a big reflection on the mom when she pays for the clothing and then allows it to be worn. Many times, she is dressed just as bad also! I love how you can " take the wrapper off the candy". You are an example and inspiration to sooo many. Thank you for being obedient!!

  6. Amen, Cindy and then another double Amen! I so agree. I see more of the married older ladies letting 'it' all hang out at church and it does bother me. I know when I put on my clothes, and I consider myself very modest, if the neckline is too low - I know it. I make the decision to wear it or not. We as women do know what is showing when we dress and as sad as it is, I think some women want to show off. It's sad. I've even seen little girls under ten dressed like little street walkers at church! Oh, Cindy, we as Christian women need to speak up as you have. Bless you for your boldness and I will pray a hedge of protection over you! You are amazing, sweet friend.
    You are the sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  7. Hi Cindy..
    its Sonnny from 155 dreamlane. though as your newest follower is still says just wanted you to know it was me- blogger wont let me change it.
    anyway. thanks so much for visiting me. I love to see your comments.

    I too wish women of all ages would be more secure about themselves so as not to feel the need to Advertise their Attributes:):)
    We teach people every moment how to TREAT us so if we treat ourselves cheaply- other will too and I know that no one wants that..
    see ya soon

  8. FB Friends:

    Debbie Wiles Huffaker Just read and commented. AMEN!!!

    Wonderful message!! We need more if this. Kimberly Shumate Crews

    Very, very well said...and I couldn't agree more. Susan Harris Chapman

    From Kristin Tanner
    Thank you for taking your role of teaching the younger women seriously in action and deed. Younger women need to be admonished to live to the Biblical standard of beauty. This is true not only on Sunday morning but everyday.
    I know I struggle with finding the balance of being attractive without falling into immodesty. I know it's easy for me to believe the lie that sexy = beauty and therefore go shorter, tighter, or barer than I should.
    It's good to have women of faith step in and give me a jolt of the truth! :)

    Karen Burnsed said:
    Cindy,I just read this,and it is so true.I have daughter's grandaughter's and daughter in laws,that I love very much and of course I am old Fashion ,but I don't Like it in God's house or anywhere else!!I whole hearted agree with you,AMEN SISTER!!!

  9. Gemini K. ConnerMay 16, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    Enjoyed your blog~~Amen!

  10. Oh that we would all strive to be more Christ-like daily in every way.
    You are right about finding clothing that is cute and in style but yet flattering and not dis-tasteful. For some of us that can be hard to do. However, I also know they do make little coverups, shawls and etc. to help with certain situations. I truly feel that you have tastefully approached this subject with honesty and humor. But some will never GET IT Miss Cindy. Only God can truly bring conviction where it needs to be whether it be me or you or whomever. See you for Friday Favorites. Connie Royals

  11. Cindy, I could not agree more with this post! Raising a four year old little girl and keeping her dressed like a "little" girl is so important to me. Yet, trying to find clothes that are appropriate for her is insane. I don't know what the clothing manufacturers are thinking when they make clothes for young girls that look like they were just on some skanky music video. She is four for crying out loud! I don't want any words written across her little tush. Why would I want that? Oh, I better shut up now because I will end up going into a huge rant about this subject. LOL

  12. Amen, Cindy. I admire you so much for being able to write this and stand up for what you believe. Your love for young girls and women of all ages is so apparent, and the loving way your expressed yourself came through. Whether in the house of the Lord or anywhere, I agree completely and wish I had your courage.

  13. I so agree with you. I get embarrassed on behalf of anyone who dresses inappropriately. I also want to ask them "Do you not own a mirror?" Your post is very well said.

  14. You are right. Absolutely. I will just be praying that, the "not-so-mature" and humble in Christ women that read it, won't take it as their ammunition to act "haughty" towards any one that is dressed
    inappropriately. You are so real and honest and, those of us that know your heart, know that you would only say ANYTHING concerning this, if He first layed it on
    your heart. ! U R a good example of being on the front lines Sister! I stand beside
    you! love u! Richelle Starling

  15. great post, you brave soul:)

  16. Your post is so well written and certainly needs to be said. I believe people who dress so revealing must be lacking self respect and certainly lacking respect for God.

  17. Thank you for this post! God has so been all over this I really feel. I appreciate your humor and I know that it did lighten the load on the topic but the truth is that WE AS MOMS should have a reality check if we read this post and the Holy Spirit is our boss! I too have been guilty of thinking that I needed to PROVE my beauty or SELF ESTEEM by what I wore. Not so! An older lady came to me about 2 years ago after I got saved and started ministering to me. Part of her ministry to me was showing me how a woman should present herself. I will never forget her as long as I live. She made such an impact on my life. Since that two years has passed I have now become a mentor to a young woman that is 15 years older and I thank God for the mentoring. Thank you for this post dear lady. I happened upon this blog by accident. I will simply sign off as "HEALED".

  18. AMEN AMEN AMEN Mrs Cindy Conner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit the nail right on the head with this one!! There is not a Sunday that my girls go out of this house without my approval first. The oldest may not like what i say but she is covered or she stays home! her choice! Amanda Nowlen

  19. Amen Cindy!!! I do not have any daughters but I have always said if I had one she would not dress inappropriately at church or elsewhere while she was under my roof!! A lot of these young ladies who still live with mom & dad wear the suggestive clothing with their parents blessing. And that is so sad. With all of the sex offenders & predators out there, why in the world would any parent sanction that kind of clothing for their daughters? And if you are a grown Christian lady wearing suggestive clothing to church or anywhere then shame on you.!!!!!! Love ya sweet Cindy.:)

  20. I will also join in the chorus of Amen! This is a message for women of all ages...have we forgotten why we go to church? One of the reasons we gather is to worship a Holy we dress does matter.Thank you for your boldness on this one

  21. Amen! We should show some respect when we go to church. It's a church, not a night club...Christine

  22. Cindy,
    Another Amen from this corner. We just went to, two grandson's college graduations. Our family stood outside the respective venues and remarked upon the lack of clothing the women were wearing. I was speaking with a security officer, while waiting for our family. He said we should see them during school. He said they're dressed up today, cause their mamas and daddy s are here.
    I recently stopped at a traffic light, looked over at the bus stop and was grossly embarrassed. I was looking at curvatures on this girl's body that only her future husband should see.
    When loving Christian women stopped being role models the notorious celebs took our place. Let's take it back.
    Thank you Cindy for initiating the dialog.
    Blessings, Ginger

  23. Such a beautiful post. You have put good thought out there to each and every one of us. The stance that you have taken was spoken so honestly and beautifully. I commend you, dear sister, for saying it so well.

  24. Yes, praise Jesus for this post. Can I share the soapbox with you?

    Because not only is it the Gomer attire, it is also the cut off shorts, flip flops and dirty t shirts.
    Now I know that the good Lord loves to see us in church and those without means should absolutely come as they are. But when I see people getting out of Mercedes and Cadillacs dressed as such it puts a bee in my bonnet. You are in the Lord's house is that really what you wish to wear when you meet Him?


So glad you stopped by to visit.
Hugs and blessings, Cindy